10 Skills Every Modern Man Should Have

Are you a real man? Below we count down 10 of the many skills that every modern man should have. How many do you do? All of them? If not, why not?

How to get served at the bar

ordering a drink at the bar

Getting served at the bar quick is an amazing life skill to have. Not only will it have your mates wishing they could be a bit more like you, but if you’re out on a date, it makes you look like the real deal. There are various theories of how to do it properly, but most are wrong. Some people advocate the waving of the note, but that just makes you look like everybody else.

The key is to differentiate yourself. Look calm and self-assured and when the barman nears you and everyone else starts clamouring for his attention, simply say to him ‘These ladies here were before me’. This chivalrous act will not only enamour you to the aforementioned ladies, you’ve differentiated yourself from the twenty or so other people around you and he now knows you are next. He’ll serve you because you’re not like the other idiots shouting and waving notes around.

How to bet on the horses

horse racing bets

Even if you’re not a gambler and have no intention of becoming one, knowing how to bet on horses is just one of those things that every man should know. A day out at the races is so much fun, as is having a flutter on the Grand National.

The things you need to know are numerous and go from what sort of bets there are (singles, each way, doubles, etc) to the form factors you should be looking at. These can be things such as previous races, course, distance, turf, weight of the jockey, as well as who the actual jockey is and who trained the horse.

How to give a good massage

Man giving massage

Pulling a woman is one thing, but keeping one is even harder. If you want a woman to love you forever, knowing how to give a good massage is going to go a long way in making sure this is the case. Deep, soulful messages that make her tingle with pleasure, as well as gently easing out all the stresses of the day will have you permanently in her good books.

A good massage should last about 45-minutes and should not be a random collection of kneads and strokes. It should be systematic, slow, sensual and relaxing.

How to buy a women’s clothing

Men shopping for women

This comes down to one thing, and one thing only. You are buying them for them, not for you. So, when you want to buy that sexy lingerie, YOU may want her to look like a hooker, but chances are she won’t want to. If you can’t do that, utilise our second piece of advice.

Word to the wise – don’t buy a woman clothes. Just avoid it and you’ll have a happier life.

How to catch and fillet a fish

Man fishing

There’s something ruggedly attractive about a man who can master the outdoors, according to a lot of women, so being able to catch and fillet your own fish is a pretty handy skill to have.

There is something almost cave-man about a man who can catch and kill his own food, and that is appealing to a woman’s primal needs. You may never need to do it, but if you are ever called upon to catch a fish, knowing how to do it will make you look like a complete badass.

How to use Google. Properly.

Google search

Evan Lorne / Shutterstock.com

You may think you know how to use Google properly, but chances are you don’t. There is so much more to it than just simply typing in what you want to know about. There are a host of ways to search for things and a multitude of tactics to get the results you need.

Google is an essential tool because if you don’t know what you are talking about, then knowing how to Google effectively can make it sound like you can.

How to return items

Receipt

OK, if you still get your mum to return your unwanted purchases to the shop for you then it’s time to stop now. If you’re single, stop doing this unless you wish to remain single forever. Yes, it’s awkward, and, yes, it’s a pain in the arse, but having the ability to return items to a shop will not only improve your self esteem and your image, it will also vastly improve your bank balance, as it stops you throwing away your impulsive purchases.

How to appease a screaming baby

Man with happy baby

For many women, a man who can handle a child is a big turn-on. Most men without kids are terrified of even looking at a baby, never mind picking one up, and will go into meltdown if they start crying. By knowing how to do all of these things, you will set yourself head and shoulders above all your rivals, and women will be dropping at your feet wanting to have your babies.

How to park a car

Male driver

If you can’t park a car, you are letting the male race down. It’s one of the few things that even many women will admit that men can do better. Parallel parking should be a requirement of being a man, and failure is not an option. If you can’t, get practicing now! It’s your duty!

How to eat a curry

Indian curry

Even if you like your curries a bit more on the mild side, being able to eat a Vindaloo is an essential skill for any modern man. A drunken trip to the local curry house is always the start of an evening of banter, so if you don’t want your mates thinking you are a complete girl, ordering a Vindaloo (or even better a Phaal, it’s even hotter) shuts everyone up and shows you for the 100% man you are.

So, how did you get on? How much of a man are you? More Barbie than Ken? Or are you pure testosterone fuelled manliness? If not, get on it now – you’re not just letting yourself down, you’re letting down the entire male race.