If you really want to feel manly then there is no better way than hunting your own wild boar, butchering it and then eating it with your bare hands. But, as this isn’t very practical and would probably give you food poisoning, then growing a beard is the next best way.
There are so many benefits to growing a beard. So, here are the reasons why you should have one:
Beards mean you will never cut yourself shaving again
Are you sick of constantly having to buy blades and shaving foam? Tired of the countless times you’ve cut your face and nearly bled to death all over the bathroom? Grow a beard! You’ll never have to shave again! Not only will you save yourself hundreds of pounds over the year, but also you’ll save yourself about three gallons of blood and a huge amount of time. All that time you spend shaving every morning means that you can now have a few extra minutes in bed.
Beards make you more handsome / less ugly
Have you got a double chin? A weird looking mouth? Or a really bad complexion full of spots? A good bushy beard will cover all of these and more. If you suffer from an indistinct jaw line, then a good beard can help add definition, and can even make it look rather chiselled. If you’re really ugly, then the beard can be a great thing to distract people from the other parts of your face, automatically making you more handsome.
Beards make you more powerful
There’s something about a beard that says power. It says you’re rugged, you’re strong and you’re not to be messed with. A beard makes you look like the sort of man who can scale a mountain, fight a bear and down 10 pints of beer all at the same time. And, if you’re in any doubt as to the powerfulness of a beard, look at the prevalence of beards in the World’s Strongest Man competition. Oh, and of course, Chuck Norris has a beard. It doesn’t get much more powerful than Chuck.
Beards are loved by all women
Some women say they hate beards but we all know they love beards. They genuinely can’t get enough of them. Even the ones that pretend they hate them can’t hide their delight in them, asking all sorts of questions. Is it itchy? How long did it take to grow? Can I touch it? Grow a beard and you’ll have women falling at your feet just to get near your bristly whiskers.
Beards guarantee you a permanent job in the future
Start growing your beard now, don’t shave, and by the time you hit your sixties, you are going to be seriously in demand as Santa Claus. You’ve got about six weeks work per year guaranteed for life, and you’ll be able to command a better salary than your rivals who all have fake beards.
Beards are trustworthy
You can always trust a man with a beard. Beards mean experience and age. You’ve been there, done it, and conquered all before you. Even if you’ve never been outside of the UK, you’ll look like you’ve travelled the world, sailed the seven seas, and have a host of stories about it. With a beard, you’ll find deals are done easier at work, sales are up, and you’ll be the most popular guy in the office.
Beards make you look smart even if you aren’t
Even if you haven’t got a GCSE to your name and there’s not much going on in between your ears, by growing a beard you instantly turn yourself into an intellectual. Instead of looking blank when somebody asks you something, now all you have to do is look blank but stroke your beard, as well. Instantly, you look deep and clever.
All men with beards are successful
Just think of who has beards. Yes, that’s right, successful people. Richard Branson, Abraham Lincoln, Yosemite Sam, ZZ Top, Hulk Hogan and the big man himself – Jesus. He’s got millions of people worshipping him. You don’t get much more successful than that.
So, if you’ve decided that growing a beard is for you, there’s no better place to start than All About Beards. This is the ultimate beard growing website and includes exhaustive guides to beard stylers and grooming with a host of advice, videos and blogs that will help you grow the ultimate beard.